Today I am very thankful for many things, one of them is my mother Alimatu. My mother has always been my best friend; we always talk on the phone for hours about different things, and we laugh out loud at memories and silly comments. Sometimes we even argue a bit, but she never fails to call me her strong child. She often tells me about my good qualities. Most of the time, I just hear them as the usual praise a mother gives. But on this day, those words hit me hard.
Living on the other side of the world, her words really reached me in a different way this time, as if she was truly seeing my life (A mother’s instinct I suppose). She did not see the doubts I carry, the questions I ask myself in private, or the prayers I say to God. Somehow she said what I have become blind and deaf to; that I have been handling marriage, motherhood, and personal growth all at once. I have built a home. I am raising children. I am growing quietly without losing who I am. She told me she was proud of me. Something inside me softened, because I did not realize how much I needed to be reminded, to hear that. I did not know until she said it. The truth is I had quietly convinced myself that I was falling short, failing in ways no one else could see.
For a moment, with the phone in my hand, her soft, gentle, but also firm voice echoed across the room, and with the word “mom” showing on the screen, she didn’t sounded so far, her words cut through the noise in my mind. I was taken aback, not because this was something new, but because it felt vital in that moment. I will hold on to them. I want to remember to see myself the same way even on tough days.
My mom, my best friend, as I listened, I found myself feeling just as proud of her. her years of being all alone but she has remained tender. She still laughs easily. She still finds reasons to encourage me before she speaks of herself. Even from far away, she continues to mother me. I love my mom.
Just a year ago I was in her presence. Now I miss those days we spent together (I am not crying) Sometimes I wish I could be sitting beside her instead of holding a phone in my hand. I wish I could watch her grow older not through photographs and phone calls, but in the ordinary rhythm of everyday life. But God is in control.
I pray that the years ahead are kind to her. That God will continue to guide her, strengthen her body, preserve her health, and surround her with His peace. I pray that she ages with the same tenderness and grace she has carried through every season of her life.
“Her children rise up and call her blessed…” — Proverbs 31:28
